Dear Dog

Dear Golden Retriever,

You insist on sleeping on my bedroom floor at night and I am fine with that. What I am not fine with, however, is the large amount of noise you make.

1) You breath so loudly. Over and over like a train. It keeps me awake. Every so often you do a random baby howl just to remind me that you are there.

2) Then you get a little itch somewhere. You begin to nibble at it or scratch it but you have one of those reflex things all dogs seem to have. Your back leg starts to twitch. Starts to shake. Starts tp rub against the carpet. And then before I know it your back leg is thumping hard and repetitivly against the floor like you are trying to hammer in a resistant nail. I fear the neighbours may mistake it for a bedpost smacking against the wall.

3) Then you drift off to sleep and as a result I can drift off to sleep. There I go into a lovely dream and then you start to have one of those dreams where you are running. Your legs start to go like you are on a bicycle and in turn they beat heavily on my door, my door frame, the box of notebooks by my bed, the carpet and the loose floorboard. Over and over until I fully aroused from my sleep.

So, dear dog, I love you dearly. But please can you occasionally make the short trip across the hallway and flop down in my sisters room. She has more tolerance for dogs than I do and I would like that she starts to see my perspective a bit.

xXx