Lambrini Girl

Today something very interesting happened to me. Even as I stand here with blood running down my front from the vicious looking wound on my throat, I am enraptured enough to proudly proclaim,

Tonight was the night I became a werewolf.

xXx

Bring On New Year

New Year is upon us like a thick blanket of snow (similar indeed to that blanket of snow and ice that has terrorised England for the past fortnight, but which was fortunately cleared by one nights rainfall). My New Years resolutions are brewing away in the cauldron that is my brain. They will be similar to...

1) Join the gym.
2) Quit my fuck-hole job.
3) Improve my physical appearance.
4) Become a vegan every other day or more.

Right now I am sipping Peroni and mourning the loss of my quiet neighbourhood. Yes, this week I became aware of the fact that some chavs have moved in next door and I have spent most of my spare time listening to their music which blasts through my walls. The poor dears must be as deaf as old people.

I keep meaning to put pictures on here but I have lost my camera AGAIN.

xXx

Christmas And All That Jazz

All week I have eagerly anticipating finally doing my Christmas shopping today, so you can imagine my disdain at looking out the window at 8am (yes, I got up that early on my day off in order to get things done) to see a thick blanket of snow covering the entire landscape. My car was reduced to a snowy hill outside my house.

So as of yet, nobody will be getting a Christmas present from me. I didnt waste the day though, I trawled the internet for research on a project but then got sidetracked by various websites that enticed me with a scoring system based on how many times you post.

Right now I am drinking Lambrini with my sister's senile cat on my head.

Did you see that picture below? Thats cool, right? I hope the owner doesn't sue me because I didnt actually ask for permission to use it here.

Anyhoo (ho ho)

Kezia
xXx

The Hitchers Wife

I did a search for The Hitcher (The Mighty Boosh) at DeviantArt and stumbled across this. Isn't it cool! It is by a user called StarWarsQueen and it is sooo good.

I am really into female villains at the moment. Harley Quinn is my new idol. x

I Wish More Books I have Read Were On This List...

The BBC's; Most People Have Only Read Six Of These

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2  The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling (all)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Travellers Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby -- F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath –  John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen 35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Willaim Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - dan brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabrial Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far from the Madding Crowd -- Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaids Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martell
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love in the time of Cholera - Gabriel garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On the Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson
74 Notes from a Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylivia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - Charles Mitchell
83 The Colour Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree collection - Enid blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie & the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Pink = Read it
Green = Read bits of it

Erm, okay...

So tonight I went a little Christian Slater in an attempt to liven up my life. Only nothing happened.

I even crashed the car into a rock.

Oh well. Some day my life shall get interesting, lol.

xXx

Snowvember

Yes, the ingenious papers have tagged this month Snowvember, rendering it to ridonkulous status like those silly dog names (Cavapoo, Labradoodle, Puggle...) and those celebrity marriages (Brangelina, TomKat...). England is already experiencing the snow that breaks oh-so-many legs, kills oh-so-many grannies and brings the country to a halt in January/February.

I wonder if Climate Change will soon mean that Alaska is like Hawaii and vice versa.?

My heating is broken so I can seriously see me freezing to death this Winter. I swear I came [..this..] close to actually crying last night; shivering under my two double quilts, fleece blanket, slippers, socks, pyjamas, dressing gown and gloves.

I want a dog. Obviously after Christmas. And obviously when I have sorted out the heating situation. A Shih Tzu or perhaps maybe a rescue dog. Yay.

xXx

Deranged

Look at these demented shoes I found at some Tumblr blog...Actually I had better give credit, its, er, Kandice Melonakos' blog. Anyhoo, they are so WEIRD!
Seriously they look like the models legs have been snapped in three or four places and have now been poorly binded together with Christmas ribbon.
This is probably a warning as to how your feet will look after wearing these boots.
Deranged.

xXx

cool

My Halloween Girl Crush

Tiffany~ Bride Of Chucky

Absolutey adoring Tiffany this Halloween. x

As her weight increased, her roles decreased...

Well my life has been chugging along like a steam train that is about to be sent to that great train heaven in the sky. End of the line and all that jazz.

I did watch Repo! The Genetic Opera last night though and it was okay I guess. The Grave Robber, or Grave Digger, or whatever his name was, was very cool. I did however, want to punch a hole through the screen each time that the Hilton creature came on screen though. She should go back to jail or whatver it is that she does for a living.

I am also very cold because the heating still doesnt work. Yes, times are hard.

Au Revoir my little darlings, thought I don't actually have any followers.

Kezia Spooky Pie

xXx

Do Everything In Love

Live The Life You Love

That is all,
Kezia
xXx

Urgh

I am sick. How horrible. I had so many plans for this week as well and instead I am sat in my bed with a toilet roll and a bottle of baby oil, watching 4oD and drinking a lot of tea.

With every cloud and silver linings in mind, I have decided that I shall use this as productive pre-production time for a little video I am doing though to raise money for Hauser Bears. My news years resolution for 2010 was to raise money to stop bear-baiting, dancing bears and the bile trade, and as of yet I have not done one thing to help, so I figured a video would be something I would enjoy.

My head hurts. Grrr.

xXx

Doors

I don't know what it is about this house but all the door hinges are a bit useless. First the kitchen door went and now the cupboard under the stairs puts up a fight if you try and venture into it.
I get the impression that I will not get my deposit back on this house. The heating won't work, the kitchen tap won't work, the shower is on its way out, the animals pissed all over the floor and now the doors are falling off.

In others news,

My car is also making journeys that little bit more interesting for me. Making sure that I am truly grateful that it got me from A to B. It likes to pretend it has stalled; Suddenly going really quiet and starting to roll to a stop. Obviously I hold the clutch down and press on the accellorator ready to start the engine, anticipating the eventual stand still and instead it reveals its prank and shoots off in a demented bunny hop. I swear it must look like those cartoon cars that sort of rear up as they zoom off.

Amber Heard - Bound To Nowhere

This is absolutely perfect. A trip to Paris is in order I think. x

Twiddling My Thumbs

Well Facebook is down so it appears I shall have to find a new way of wasting my time. I suppose that will mean joining a new social networking site, exhausting Twitter, exhausting You Tube and channel hopping. I may even download a song or two.

In other new I have one hideous scratch across the tattoo on my wrist as a result of moving my sisters cat from my lap in order to get a cookie. Silly animal.

Twins of Evil

I just watched this yesterday and I quite liked it. It should really be called Twin Of Evil though seeing as Maria is really rather nice. If I had my way Maria would be slightly badder though, she is saccarine sweet The film only needs for her to be sweeter than Madeliene. Count Karnstein is hot.

Kitty's Bedtime Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray this cushy life to keep.

I pray for toys that look like mice,

and sofa cushions, soft and nice.

For grocery bags where I can hide,

just like a tiger, crouched inside!

I pray for gourmet Kitty snacks,

and someone nice to scratch my back.

For window sills all warm and bright,

for shadows to explore at night.

I pray I'll always stay real cool,

and keep the secret feline rule.

To NEVER tell a human that...

the world is really ruled by CATS!

I found this online and thought it rather funny. It is ruined a bit by the ending though, the last four lines.

I am intending on buying a decent camera soon so I can get some photos on here. Hurrah.

Quite Like This

Buzznet

Just tried out Buzznet.

http://www.keziaspookypie.buzznet.com/

I am not sure what to make of it. I definately prefer Blogger. I only got one in the first place so I could comment on something Audrey Kitching posted.
Anyhoo I must be heading to bed as I must be up tomorrow for work and the midnight hour is approaching swiftly.

xXx

Hmmmm

Well I humiliated myself today. After walking the dog I realised I had forgotten my door key, and without even checking that my sister had left for work or not I launched into full scale panic mode.


Step one was to stand at the front door and say bad words over and over, while digging deep into my clearly empty pockets. Occasionally stopping to take a split second launch into a step two before thinking better of it.


Step two was to decide to try and chase my sister up the path she would have gone. Obviously, with a twelve-year-old arthritic dog this was highly unlikely to succeed and it took me a moment of dragging the poor thing up the path to realise this.


Step three was to rush up round to the back door and leave the dog in the back garden, and then chase my sister, already realising the dog was unlikely to stay there. Fortunately I decided to try the back door and then it magically opened as my sister appeared at it.


The moral of the story is to stay calm in moments of crisis.

xXx

The Small Things

Mary-Kate Olsen is the same height as me according to her driving license. It also states she is 85lb. That is TINY. A lot can be learnt from this.

Dear Dog

Dear Golden Retriever,

You insist on sleeping on my bedroom floor at night and I am fine with that. What I am not fine with, however, is the large amount of noise you make.

1) You breath so loudly. Over and over like a train. It keeps me awake. Every so often you do a random baby howl just to remind me that you are there.

2) Then you get a little itch somewhere. You begin to nibble at it or scratch it but you have one of those reflex things all dogs seem to have. Your back leg starts to twitch. Starts to shake. Starts tp rub against the carpet. And then before I know it your back leg is thumping hard and repetitivly against the floor like you are trying to hammer in a resistant nail. I fear the neighbours may mistake it for a bedpost smacking against the wall.

3) Then you drift off to sleep and as a result I can drift off to sleep. There I go into a lovely dream and then you start to have one of those dreams where you are running. Your legs start to go like you are on a bicycle and in turn they beat heavily on my door, my door frame, the box of notebooks by my bed, the carpet and the loose floorboard. Over and over until I fully aroused from my sleep.

So, dear dog, I love you dearly. But please can you occasionally make the short trip across the hallway and flop down in my sisters room. She has more tolerance for dogs than I do and I would like that she starts to see my perspective a bit.

xXx

Silly Billy

On account of getting freaked out by The FBI Files, before anything has really happened, I went to lock the back door. Unfortunately it was not on the side where I keep it, neither was it on the fridge where I am supposed to keep it.

It was in the back door. The side facing the big wide world and all the dangers it cotains therein.

I have twice left the front door key in the front door, and I was so proud to have trained myself out of it, only to start on the back door.

xXx

The FBI Files

Kezia Spooky Pie's need to sleep otherwise they are cranky for work. Unfortunately I made the mistake of channel hopping and The FBI Files has just started. It looks like an interesting one as well. x

Overrun

Currently residing in my little two bedroom house;

Me
My Sister
A Golden Retriever
Three Girl Cats
One Boy Cat
Two Girl Guinea Pigs
Three Boy Guinea Pigs

What is that a total of? Twelve.
TWELVE!

My parents decided to do a clear out of pets, and cleared them straight into my house. They are having the dog back, although they want me to keep him.

We may have kittens on the way (accidently) and I definately will purposely get baby guinea pigs.

xXx

My Apartment

I don't like dogs...

I have permanently established now. I keep swaying back and forth and though I love dogs, I just can't tolerate their little traits;

They smell

They bark

They are messy.

 I am a cat person. Cats tidy up after themselves, they don't give you that constant, shadow-like affection that dogs do and they are nice and quiet. In my lovely apartment that I hope to get I will live happily with a cat and a guinea pig.

xXx

Batman

"Batman: The Movie carries the high camp absurdity of the 1960s TV show to gleeful new heights. Shark Repellent Batspray, costume-removing Batpoles, a contraption that dehydrates political figures into coloured powder, and endless childishly easy conundrums. Bringing the primary-coloured show to the big screen was a natural move, since sets, costume and casting were all in place. But what elevates the movie above the series? Is it the wonderful new toys--the Batcopter, Batboat and Batbike? Is it the OTT direction, taking the Dynamic Duo on location far more than usual? Or is it the electrifying one-upmanship between Burgess Meredith (Penguin), Cesar Romero (Joker), Frank Gorshin (Riddler) and Lee Meriwether (a new Catwoman since regular Julie Newmar was busy elsewhere)? As Commissioner Gordon says, "The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!" Really, the best of the movie's magic is to be found in the sheer glee Adam West and Burt Ward exhibit in playing for the big screen. This was the most exciting event in their careers. And it shows in their colourful, zestful performances."

I just bought Batman (1966). Huzzah. The incredibly amazing Adam West. I hope I dream of thee tonight. Ha.

xXx

Proper Blogging

As my beloved cat swings from the curtains, I am thinking, "Should I pay for a proper blog?"
You know, a real one. A DOT COM one, a CO dot UK one. Hmmm?

Maybe I should wait. After all it is probably to soon for me to be thinking of making these drastic decisions. I mean I have been blogging for, what, about a week?

Plus I no followers. Count 'em NONE.

xXx

101 Dalmations

I just finished watching 101 Dalmations on BBC Three. What a funny film,

"Who won the gold?"

Of course, I was dismayed at the INCREDIBLE INNACURACCY depicted by a racoon in the English countryside! A racoon! I guess, as a viewer I expected to conjure up in my head that, of course, it most definately escaped from London Zoo. How else could it have got there?

I am surprised that Hugh Laurie, Joely Richardson and Mark Williams failed to point this out to the makers. They probably did and were rebuffed.

xXx

Loves

A Classy Affair

I say that with the thickest sarcasm. Champagne and Pizza night was not the semi-dignified affair I have come to expect. Instead I spent the early hours cleaning up someone elses vomit from in and around the toilet. I don't think I can ever eat pizza again as it was clearly the solid pizza topping... Yuck, yuck, yuck, I cannot continue for it is to ghastly.

xXx

Lizards

By the way, here is the lovely bracelet I won off Ebay. Pretty cool...Pretty Cool. x

Champagne and Pizza Night

Well, the time has come for another champagne and pizza night. A costly affair that is nethertheless rather entertaining. Unfortunatly my tolerance for alcohol has grown rather a lot so I will probably have to buy two bottles.

I also want to buy fruit cake because I have a strange craving for one. I get a craving for one about twice a year, proceed to buy one, take one bite and then the rest goes to the dog.

I am also concerned as to where to park my car. Parking on a Saturday is usually so ghastly and I will admit that I am not the best driver. That quote in Nick And Nora about leaving enough room between your car and the kerb to allow another vehicle to park there rings true for me.

I googled it...

My darling mother will be getting a nice little goodie bag from me. I shall fill it with

Lots of gluten free goodies

A nice scented candle

Pretty toiletries

Maybe a photo frame or something small and cute

That should do her nicely. Unless of course I think of something incredible to get her instead.

xXx

My mum's birthday is coming up...

I have come o the conclusion that I must avoid Ebay as I keep on buying things for myself instead. I never normally look at jewellery but obviously I headed that way on account of my mum and came across some very intriguing lizard bangles which I just had to have.

My mum also likes Steiff Bears but every birthday and Mother's Day I go along to the little store that sells them, take one look at the prices, and then remember why my mum has never recieved one from me on such occasions.

xXx

Ooooh...

I want my dining room to look like this. x

The misadventures of bathtime...

Today I did that thing where you accidently let the bath fill way to high with hot water. How to solve this dilemma? I promise you, it's not interesting.


1) Seeing as there was about an inch left around the edge, I let the cold water run into it until it had reached spill level. Unfortunately it had little effect on the temperature.


2) I put on some marigolds and attempted to get the plug out. Unfortunately my first attempt meant that the marigolds were not long enough by about half an inch and the boiling water started to spill over the top.


3) I took the dog for a walk. Seeing as my options were limited to letting it cool down I decided this would benefit the two of us. Forty five minutes later...


4) I did what I should have done in the first place. I dived my hand in, trying to ignore the burning, and wildly grabbed for the plug. I missed it the first time and I had to try again.


After all this it meant my bath was limited to ten minutes. Should have had a shower. x

Animals

Well, last night I slept on the sofa on account of all the noisy animals in my room, so I am a bit cranky. However, I am sane enough to know that all these noises coming from my cupboard are not imaginary. The dog is asleep, the cats are out and the guinea pigs are in their cage so I am a little bit concerned. x

Bedtime

Well even Kezia Spooky Pie's need to sleep otherwise they cannot get up for work the next day. I will leave you with this intriguing doll I found on Ebay. x

There is a moth on my ceiling...

Only I am not 100% certain that it is an actual moth. It is very stationary. I don't believe anyone has any reason to bug my room so I shall have to assume it is a moth. x